ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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