I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
