Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
