Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
