I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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