Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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