Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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