I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She bit a glass in half.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
