we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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