Kiss
Puke
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
