If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
