brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
