The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
