she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
