i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The uberlube is also flammable
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
