I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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