Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Randomize
