lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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