He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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