I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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