Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
where are you?
Hypothermia
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
