belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Sober January is a disaster.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
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