dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
