my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just googled if crying burns calories
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think your dad took our porno
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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