im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Can I color on your dick again?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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