new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
