making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
