I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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