I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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