With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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