you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
