they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
