Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
