I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
