my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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