with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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