Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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