im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
birth control should be required to get into college
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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