Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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