he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I enjoy the company of your penis
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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