i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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