just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Randomize
