I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
