the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
