my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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