i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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