talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
