i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
