Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
