How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
