There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just found puke in my bra..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
