Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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