True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Is it penis luge time yet?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
