wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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