Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Everything about him screamed your future.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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