Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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