sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
