Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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